The four types of Christians and the ONE you must avoid PT 4: THE PASTORPRENEURS

Napoleon Bonaparte, the French military and political leader who lived in the 18th century did not spare to note in his famous quote “I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is not this world and yet they lay hands on everything they can get”. One can simply imagine that the practice of priestly gluttony did not begin in this age, and it is in fact an inherent character of the men in robes who mount religious altars to insatiably crave for the luxury of coins and the pockets of the simpleton.

The pastorpreneur is the man on the payroll of everyone’s pocket in the church. He is the reason why the churchgoer can’t put his mind off on “settling God”. He is the reason why the churchgoer will work twice harder in order to bring his proceeds to God of which the pastorpreneur is impersonating in practice. Men of God they call them, but Gods of men they are, for whatever they lay claim to the sheeple as the dictates of God, such declaration is certainly of God and the sheeple won’t and can’t question. When the churchgoer says he pays his tithe to God, they are the Gods in whose possession the tithe safely lies. Their pocket – the church’s offering, their bank account- the collective proceeds of men, and the minds of men- their football pitch. None other but these men solely control the mentality and minds of men en masse. The mentality of a religitard is determined by the oral blunder of his pastor.

They are like software developers, whose input determines the output and behavioral outcome of the religitard and churchgoers. Insult the religitard and every other thing, but say no word about his pastorpreneur; he’ll skin you alive. To the shepple, he is blameless. Even in his glaring blemish and corruption, they see nothing and hear no evil. True to this, the pastorpreneur lives as God; for who can blame God? The choir spinsters are for his delight, to do freely as he is pleased. Fishers of men like the holy book labels them, and true to the title, all he needs to do is simply point at the desired spinster(fish) and the kill is all to his indulgence in the bedroom. After all he who works in the altar, must eat from the altar. The pastorpreneur not only possesses the power to hack into the wallets and minds of men, he can equally hack in between the thighs of the religitard bandwagons on skirts. As a man, you just can’t help but envy the pastorpreneur; all he’s got to say is “Thus says the Lord sister Grace, ‘commit thy vessels of milk and flowery temple into the hands of the prophet, that he may come his bowels into thy wet abode”, and boom! He is laid. Call it the work of the PIMPINGSTRY, sorry, the work of the ministry.

Not only are the wallets and purse of gullible men not safe around these men, the thighs and breasts of maidens are not spared from their nets. Whether a bachelor or a married man, the pastorpreneur is a lustful man. It is said by the old quote that “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. The priest is one who wields some power over the minds of people under the sound of his voice and fellowship. He is one who is highly revered, wielding the age old primitive book tagged “holy” and above all unquestionably sacrosanct to dictate to people the affairs of their mind, what ought to be and not ought to be. He is regarded as the servant of God, the voice of God, one who knows the affairs and dictates of God more than the rest of the clan. As such his voice is that of God, his opinion is God’s and his demands are God’s. He is the voice of God and the “GOD of Voice”; the man whose voice supersedes every other voice in the mind of the religious. He is the man whom the people have appointed to deceive them, the man whom men have permitted to lie to them, extort them and determine to them what ought to be and not be.

More gullible and susceptible to their greed are the desperate single women in the church; the single sisters whose desire is to hear the one over-rated statement of two brief words “I DO”. In the Pentecostal churches where some preachers are referred to as “Prophets” or “Seers”; preachers who are believed to possess some special gifts to perform miracles and hear in real-time from God, these desperate singles are their favorite play toys and objects of quick extortion. Since the prophet is regarded as one who speaks with God in real-time and posses extra authority and power to do certain miracles like giving husbands, jobs, healing, wealth, etc.The contest to please this very pastorpreneur is trendy and politicking in the church. The coins and properties of men are his gifts without even calling. The stupidity of the ignoramus is his blessing no which he will ride happily on with a smile to the bank. Those who possess no cash to gain his favor that will draw his miraculous intervention into their predicament, they often opt to pay in kind either by being dedicated workers in the church, domestic helpers at the preacher’s house, not excluding the services of aiding the man in times of erection. When it comes to servicing the bedroom of the priest and attending to matters of his priestly erection, the gullible spinsters and female religitards are ones who happily tend to his libido. Like the religious always defend their gullibility and extortion by the preacher say “If I give the man of God, I am giving to God not a human being. Because the bible says “WHOEVER RECEIVES A PROPHET … SHALL RECEIVE A PROPHET’S REWARD…..” The acclaimed holy book says “FOR WHOEVER SHALL GIVE YOU A CUP OF WATER TO DRINK IN MY NAME ……. HE SHALL NOT LOOSE HIS REWARD”. As such, it should be defended that giving one’s vagina to the priest and tending to his thirst in erection or libido is “giving unto God” and not the preacher.

No other day of the week gives the preacher so much joy like Sundays. He is on his highest ebb on these days. You can never find an unhappy pastor on Sunday unless of course the turn-out in the Sunday service was disappointing or the church offering did not amount to what he had hoped for. Cetris paribus, the preacher is the happiest on Sundays. Standing tall and high on joy on the pulpit, the preacher is often the finest to sing the popular church song “I AM HAPPY WHEN THEY SAY LET US GO TO THE HOUSE OF THE LORD”. Every preacher is at orgasm when the lyric of this song from the psalms of David is played aloud. And the preacher never fails to echo “IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD, THERE IS FULLNESS OF JOY”. If you are the preacher, will you disagree? Standing shoulders-high like an alpha-male on the pulpit and over-looking his congregation, his sees the vibrating smile of his church members, the happiness and willingness by the sheeple to be fleeced by their shepherd. He sniffs the air and smells the gullibility of the people, he inhales deeply and drops a worship song that expresses his innate euphoria, and true to his vibe, the people about to make him richer join to echo his joy as he closes his eyes to picture his bank figures about to add some weight.

The preacher is a like a spoilt child and a baby that refuses to grow-up. He wants to be fed, he wants his needs to be everyone’s, and he wants his desire to be everyone’s burden. All he does is demand, ask, and beg, and above all, he demands like it is his right to be given. He wants a new car, the congregation must find a way to bring it to his garage. He builds a new home, the congregation must be involved. He gives nothing to people but wants everyone to give him everything. The only thing he gives to the people are adrenaline triggering rhetoric and sermons all tailored towards how they should give to his purse, which he’ll tag as “the church”. Give, give and give is what their mouth is dripping with.

Like a spoilt child and an ingrate, those who give the most to his coffers are his favorite, whom he appoints special sits and titles in the congregation. The men whose pockets leak the most into his coffers, their homes his feet shall find an unending tourism. Pitiable are those who have nothing to contribute to his bank account, for they do not exist. They are ones whom the axe of “church discipline” and discrimination hangs around. More pitiable is the man whose home the preacher’s feet knew but fate took away the one object which brought the preacher continually to his yard. Like a used snack, he shall be thrown into the dustbin of history.

Pastorpreneurs are among the worst ingrates ever. They dance around men who contribute copious sums to their “PIMPINGSTRY” and greet the meager members with a snob appeal. When the person who is in the habit of showering their coffers with money is ineffective or goes broke, they dump the individual and move on to another host. They are parasites, ingrates and con men. All they care about is their business and you just have to envy the way they call it: “the Work of God”, “ministry”, etc. They are in the business of competing against each other. Pastor A versus Pastor B; who has more sheeple, who is richer, who drives better cars, whose wife is prettier or more expensive. Their competition is even taken outside the church business to schools and private jets ownership. And the religitards are applauding to the rat race as their incomes are fueling the luxurious greed of the priests.

Priests are men of avarice on fraudulent robes saddling the minds of gullible men to the abattoir, slaughtering every piece of sense and reason in them and with no intention to spare any pint of rationality in their souls. They are the merchants of superstitions, marketers of fairy-tales and the parasites of the men’s coins. You need not wonder why the politicians are found with them. Be wary of them for they will take your money, rob your senses and drain every drop of rationality left in your soul and replace it with fear, bigotry, pious hope for superstitions and buffoonery. Your daughters are not safe with them; they will snoop into their panties. Your young boys will not be spared either. And their fiery lusty eyes will not be taken off from thy green fields. Look upon them like the fox; revere them like you would, the lion.

CULLED FROM “RELIGION: THE ULTIMATE CURSE ON MANKIND” by Imoh “Son Of David”

THE FOUR TYPES OF PEOPLE GOD SPEAKS TO (Pt1): The Dumb-ass and Stupid

“GOD SPOKE TO ME”, “GOD SAID THIS TO ME”, “GOD WHISPERED THIS AND THAT INTO MY EARS”, etc these and many other phrases we have been inundated with by special humans with special hearing kits which the rest of us are not entitled to.

In my days as a religious buffoon, I usually ask why God spoke to Brother X and Sister L and ignored me. This ill-comfort of mine was at its peak back in the days during cell meetings on campus-fellowships. I’ll always wonder in bewilderment when brother x said “last night in my bedroom, the Holy Spirit told me this and that and he asked me to share it with you”, and sister L will narrate same “on my way to the bathroom, the Lord told me in clear terms blah blah blah”.

I have come to notice that God only speaks to the following people:
– The dumb-ass and stupid
– The hungry
– Chronic liars and con men
– The mentally unstable

THE DUMB-ASS AND THE STUPID
Every man has his fair share of stupidity, but there are some folks that make other stupid people feel like geniuses. Yes we are stupid creatures impersonating the form of man; we have at one time believed stupid things, said stupid things and practiced same.

In the childhood and teenage stage of a man’s life, he is entitled to the free practice of the inane without demur. In short, as a human, you are naturally allotted with an entitlement of the fatuous, this I know, understand and equally sympathize with our mortality over this. But hey, that is not what I’m referring to.

While some of us wrestle so hard to do very badly in the art of stupidity, others make no effort in cultivating their fair share of grey-matter, hence, abandoning their natural plot of common sense to be overgrown by weeds, cobwebs and all forms of garbage which in turn fertilizes their vibrant hectares of stupidity. Such individual are so great in their personage of inane reasoning that they’ve attained an avatar stage in ludicrousness. These individuals are the folks God would always speak to; the gormless, brain dead peeps.

Stupidity is not a function of classroom and college education and degree. Stupidity is unreason personified; buffoonery embodied and twaddles in glorification spree. We are all liable to fall victim to our stupidity, even great and respectable minds likes of Aristotle, Friedrich Nietzsche, Napoleon Bonaparte and Plato were not immuned. Conflicting to his reputation, Aristotle said that children should be conceived in the winter, when the wind is in the north, and that if people marry too young, their offspring will be female. Friedrich Nietzsche, despite his thought-proving essays and words, said “When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs”. But since their ingenuity and brilliance outlived their inane, the ridiculous is forgotten. Unknown to many, they won’t come across the few bad lines of these great minds, because out of respect for these figures, scholars and educators don’t quote such. However, they gaffed, and so do we all.

But there are some folks in the 21st century where information is not too difficult to come by still languish in asininity; so excellent is their dimness that other stupid beings like yours truly find gratitude in our level of inane. These people are so great an avatar in ridiculousness that they can force one to wonder whether some peeps reincarnated from the Aztec age of reasoning. I have met quite a number of them and one may think that these folks are not schooled, but this is not the case. A lot of them I’ve come across are more schooled than me.

I have met one who said he is a medical doctor and at the same time said the evolution theory has no scientific back-up. If the above was the only thing he said, much disappointment would not have found a comfortable seat in my heart like his attempt to verbally bully my humble self and a few others around with this statement “As a doctor of over 8 years experience in medicine, I am in a better position to tell you about science.” Out of astonishment, I responded by telling him that if I had any intention of becoming a medical doctor, not only would he kill my ambition but force me to assign comic assumptions on the noble profession. Well, it turned out that the Nigerian-trained doctor did not fail to boast of how God has fed, clothed and helped him at work especially in treating patients, When asked how God helps him in treating patients, he responded by saying God speaks to him all the time and he tells him what to diagnose and prescribe to his patients. When asked of his family and wife, he said God told him his wife was cheating on him and his kids are not his, which was the reason he sent them out of his home as God had directed him. When asked if he has done a DNA test on his kids to ascertain whether or not they are his, he simply responded, “God has already done that, I just have to have faith in his words because he cannot lie”.

I met another who said that scientists have “PROVEN” that there is a place like hellfire. Before he knocked me out with the above statement, he boasted of his personal colloquy with God. According to him, he is an economist.

Another which I came across once anticipated inundating my ears with the grieve message of the rapture as ‘GOOD NEWS”, which he must share with me willy-nilly. While in his bleating exercise, he narrated to yours truly how God speaks to him daily and reveals secrets to him. Of all his bleatings, it was the statement that God reveals secrets to him that really got my attention and I was moved to probe: “What secrets does God reveal to you”. Pointing to my Zara shoes and blackberry phone, he said “God revealed to me that they come from the kingdom of darkness”. Just to excuse my ears as rather too hasty to misinterpret people, I begged his pardon and he repeated same and went further to quote bible verses. It turned-out that he was a graduate of Engineering in Nigeria. I wasn’t surprised, I was vexed with shame.

These are just very few examples of the inane I’ve been confronted with in my encounters with the hearers of the voice of God. It is not their claim of speaking to or hearing from God that amazes me. Due to constant bombardment of arguments from religious lunacy, my ears have grown in adaptation to the hilarious. But the fact that the omniscient God cannot just lend them some ounce of sense, at least some knowledge of science and intelligence of the Omniscient should rub-off on them, but that isn’t the case because it seems God is in the business of recruiting people who are in the expertise of making others feel cool with their brilliance due to their doltishness.

There must be a reason why God doesn’t speak to the likes of Einstein, Mark Twain, Hitchens, Dawkins and many men of great brilliance. Do you know what great accomplishments (or souls like they call it in theology) can be achieved if remarkable people like Mark Twain heard the voice of God or should I say was used by God? Of course he won’t do that! The God of religions is not a lover of brilliance and science. The Priests in the dark ages acted accordingly with his irritation for such men when they slew many great minds and destroyed their works all to the Glory of God. However, in the spirit of practice, God, till date is still in the business of speaking to dumbass people.

culled from “DEITIES AND FANTASIES” by Imoh “Son of David”

ISLAM: THE MONSTROUS BLOODHOUND

Many often one may get inundated with the arguments that the religion of Islam is peaceful by the Muslim apologists who strive so hard to assuage the monstrosity by their fellow Koran adherents. The truth is: the avowed peacefulness of Islam is self-evident in its practice by its adherents. One of the excuses they make is that Mohammed was a peaceful man who taught his followers same and that Muslims lived peacefully for centuries, fighting only in self-defense and necessity. “True muslims will never act aggressively”, the moderate and liberal muslims will argue. Quran (4:95) puts it this way:

“Not equal are those believers who sit (at home) and receive no hurt, those who strive and fight in the cause of Allah with their goods and persons. Allah had granted a grade higher to those who strive and fight with their goods and persons than those who sit (at home). Unto all (in faith) hath Allah promised good: but those who strive and fight hath he distinguished above those who sit (at home) by a special reward.”

The above passage is very clear on the status of the peaceful and radical Muslims. It criticizes the peaceful Muslim and the reward of such a Muslim is not equal with those who strive hard and fight against non believers. The violent ones are the ones in whom Allah is pleased while the peaceful Muslim is one who is of a lesser value in their eyes of Allah and will be punished with hell. Quran 9:38-39 announces:

“O ye who believe! What is the matter with you, that, when ye are asked to go forth in the cause of Allah, ye cling heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to the hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the hereafter. Unless ye go forth, He will punish you with a grievous penalty and put others in your place.”

“Islam is a religion of peace”; this is a great lie and a ridiculous parody that is analogous to the statement that “a lion is a domestic animal” and “fire is not a dangerous element”. Another myth is the statement that jihad is a “spiritual struggle” and not a “holy war”, as some Islam apologists may argue. Others argue that the concept of jihad is defensive rather than offensive. Jihadists and terrorists who take up arms are doing exactly as dictated by the Koran and exemplified by Mohammed. Mohammed organized 65 military campaigns in the last ten years of his life and he personally led 27 of them. The more powerful he became, the smaller the excuses he needed to go to battle until he finally began attacking tribes merely because they were not yet part of his growing empire. After his death, his successor Abu Bakr followed suite, declaring allied tribes which wanted to go their way “apostates”, and slaughtering anyone who refuses to remain a Muslim and he was very successful with his blood and violent campaigns. Quran 8:39 asserts:

“And fight them until there is no more fitna (unbelief) and religion should be only for Allah” the historical context of this text of the submission that the Meccans refused Mohammed access to their city after hajj who had prior declared war on Mecca and consequently was evicted. It was Mohammad’s desire to destroy the polytheistic idol worship of the Meccans. The excuse for declaring war on unbelievers is merely on the grounds of their unbelief. Like the typical arrogance in the concept of monotheism, every other belief or unbelief is not to be condoned. Ibn Ishaq/Hisham 324 says that Muhammad stated that “Allah MUST have no rivals”. Even in the absence of other religious beliefs, muslims turn on each other. It is not a coincidence that countries like Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, etc where are there are little or no different religions other Islam, suffer incidences of terrorism and bomb blasts of shias against the sunnis and vice versa. Islam is a preying ideology; it must always seek for whom or a cause to fight against.

The bloodiness of Islam did not begin today, it was earlier revealed by the most faithful followers and family members of Mohammad who turned on each other. There were four caliphs in the first 25 years after Mohammed’s death, and each of which was his trusted companion. Three of these four were murdered by those allied with the son of the first caliph. The fourth caliph was murdered in the midst of a bloody conflict with the fifth caliph who began a 100 year dynasty of debauchery which was soon ended by widespread bloodbath of the descendants of Muhammad’s uncle (who wasn’t even a Muslim).

Muhammad’s own daughter, Fatima and her husband Ali survived the years of paganism in Mecca but they could not survive the years of the proliferation of Islam after Mohammad’s demise. Fatima died of stress of persecution within 3 months and Mohammed’s son-in-law Ali was later assassinated by Muslim rivals. Their son (Mohammed’s grandson) was killed in battle with a faction that became today’s’ Sunnis while his people became the Shias. Other relatives and personal friends of Muhammad were caught-up and entangled in the mist of the bloody conquest between the rival groups, and which metamorphosed into sub- divisions as Islam expanded through the ages.

Muslim apologists always argue that true muslims do not take the lives of a human being let alone another Muslim. But it is surprising how they give blind eyes to the bloody conquests and spread of Islam through its 1,400 years of existence. Mohammed who held his favourite wife and daughter; Aisha and Fatima respectively as the perfect model of the Muslim woman only led to the war between the followers of Fatima and Aisha in the violent civil wars that followed his death.

The definition of a “true Muslim” is made clear in Quran 9:88 and many other verses in the Quran – the true believer “strives and fights with their wealth”. 9: 123 clearly admonishes:

“those who believe! Fight those of the unbelievers who are near to you and let them find in you hardness”. While the hypocritical muslims are described in the Koran as those who sit at home refusing to join the clarion call of jihad. There is no tolerance in Islam.

The Koran contains at least 109 verses that exhort muslims to wage war against non believers. Muhammad clearly left his followers and men with the command to wage war against the Jews, Christians, Persians, polytheists (who eventually are the Hindus). Muslim armies through the century invaded unsuspecting neighbors and lands, plundering them of loot, their women, taking them as slaves and forcing them to pay tax or risk being fed to their swords. This terrorism did not begin today, it is inherently part of Islam in its ideology to wage war, enslave, kill, plunder and mostly destroy other beliefs. It is no coincidence that the terrorists and jihadists all over the world hold sway to Islam and the teaching of Mohammed.

The Arab slave trade was open for 1300 years until the pressure and force from western powers drove the Arab nations to declare the practice of slavery as illegal. However, this declaration is only in theory. Unlike the Germans who apologized to the world over the totalitarianism and evil of the Nazi government of Hitler, the Arab world has never apologized over the victimization and bloody conquests of jihad and slavery.

No other religion on earth has consistently produce terrorists in the name of God like Islam. The most dangerous Muslims are the radicals and conservatives who adhere to the strict conformity of the teachings of the Koran literally, to spread Islam, the shariah law, willy-nilly. They are the ones we call the fundamentalists, who in the absence of “infidels” will turn on their fellow muslims especially the moderate and liberal muslims. The peaceful Muslim apologist only holds sway to a handful of verses which speaks of tolerance. However this same moderate or liberals are referred to as hypocrites for not participating in the brutality of non believers like their radical peers. The bloodiness of the Quran out numbers its serenity and the fruits of its ideology is made manifest by the purists. Those who are considered as Muslim are merely people who give blind eyes to the perversion of the bloody conquest in the religion or are merely ignorant of the texts and teachings in the Quran. The so called religion of peace is by no means peaceful; the behavior of those who practice Islam, its history and the contents of its holy book speaks clearly for it.

culled “RELIGION: THE ULTIMATE CURSE ON MANKIND” by Imoh “Son of David”