I think the society over the years and centuries is responsible for the spoilt psychology of the male with respect to the rules of gender engagement.
Misogynism is a transferred mentality mostly from the social consent of the society. “Women ought to do this and this”, “a GOOD woman remains married”, “the divorced woman is a bad and uncultured woman”, “a good wife tolerates whatever her husband does”, etc these and many other social mental structure is responsible for arousing and raising men of fractured reasoning which subsequently tailors the misogynistic personality.
Once the society is embedded in the mentality that a woman ought to take whatever a man throws at her in a relationship, and the male is groom to think he is not in a position to maintain decorum and chivalry in his relationship, such a society is run by fractured minds.
The African society is wrapped in a social structure where a woman is expected and insisted to remain in an abusive marriage. Divorce on the part of a woman on whatever ground is received with a frowned face at the woman. “He is your husband, whatever he did to you, you must tolerate it”, “How can you leave your home for another woman to come into your house?””The bible says a woman must submit to her husband”, “divorce is a sin, etc” are just the few lines they recite to the aggrieved woman.
Nobody blames the man. The man is shielded from whatever ridicule and blame and the abused and aggrieved woman is heap with all faults and accusations on earth from insubordination to harlotry. Everyone is on the side of the man including God, as he is invoked against the woman for erring against the divine arrangement of congeniality. God is never angry with the man who abused his wife to divorce but the woman who divorces to seek a healthy state of mind is irritated by God, says the African society.
Others invoke lines like “What about the kids?” “It is not healthy for the kids”, “Tolerate it for the sake of the kids”, etc. The truth is that when kids are raised in a family structure where the husband abuses the wife and the wife still remains, they will in turn grow to repeat the culture of abuse or enduring abuse in their adult life. It is better a woman divorces an abusive marriage for the sake of the mental fettle of the children. When such kids grow into adulthood, they will hate abusive relationship because their mother was a victim and they will in turn not replicate it in their adult relationships, even soughting after a successful married life as against the one they grew up to experience.
Condoning abuse is teaching same to kids who will grow up with such tolerance of cruelty as moral and normative. It is this reason that feminism and women rights is seen as a threat to the misogynist male because it suffocates the core of the mentality that women ought to be recipients of all sorts of garbage thrown at them by the male. This is what makes feminism an ideology which makes the male accustomed to the social mindset of male domination and female silence and chickening to wet his pants. Rather, this is ought not to be the case. Feminism will in time correct the fractured mindset of the male misogynistic society and evolve the male into a mindset of chivalry at all times. Feminism, if truly utilized for good, will redeem the male character to evolve into a better version against the ones we have today.
By Imoh “Son of David”