In Nigeria, a husband material is a man that has some money.
Once your wallet is capable of sponsoring the average Nigerian lady to the saloon, own a nice car that commutes her with pride to public functions and can sustain meal on the dining table, then you are husband material.
If you like, look like a halloween conspiracy in the flesh, nobody gives a heck whether your looks can make a lion pee in the pants, if you are a package of all the drunkards on earth, liar of all liars, whether your first, second and last talent is womanizing, nobody gives a damn. So far you secure the first credentials above, then you are the national glory of a good husband material.
Then, the wife material of a Nigerian yardstick is simply a woman with good looks, even if it is of average assessment; one who mentions God in every sentence, belongs to a “bible believing church”. Even as a Nigerian, I still have no idea what religious Nigerians mean by a “Bible believing church”, is there is any church that disbelieves the bible?
Also, if she is a church worker, especially in the chior or ushering department, then she has graduated to a “God-fearing woman.” But that is not all. If she possesses the attitude of servitude wrapped with silence and tolerance for any bullshit a man inflicts on her, then it means that “she is God-sent”. If she takes it further to the level of not demanding any co-operation from her husband for whatsoever he does, accepts any punches he throws at her and will never in her sad life know what divorce means. Then she is a “virtuous woman.”
98 percent of Nigerian families will never ask a groom about his medical history and condition. Nobody even entertains the thought of questioning the mentality and psychology of the man who seeks to marry their daughter. “Are you a wife beater?” “Do you have health concerns that we should know about?” “Are you a drunkard?” “How bad is your temperament?” Nigerian bride families do not ask that. What you will hear them ask is first of all “What do you do for a living?” That is the foremost concern of a Nigerian family; the income status of the intended groom. Materialism over mentality is the priority trend of Nigerians. It is not their fault, they are mostly poor. Poverty exists in the mind. Anyone that seeks to value and respect a person base on his financial status is a poor man irrespective of his financial status. That is a poverty mentality and most Nigerian families suffer from it.
If the groom is financially buoyant and eventually weds the groom, and afterwards by reason of domestic conflict, the wife then runs to her immediate family to report abuse or the manifestation of devilry by her husband at home, the wife’s family will be the first to chide her and impose on her to tolerate whatever impishness her husbands exhibits and that in fact other women are waiting for an opportunity to replace her. That she should definitely see such misbehavior by her spouse as a blessing in disguise. That the exhibition of rascality is a transition of love. They in turn support abuse on their child simply because of a pittance their in-law shower them. That is poverty! Very few families in Nigeria rise up to caution their son-in-law against their ward or press for a divorce. The few who do are the educated and knowledgeable ones against the large number of poor-minded wealth worshippers.
Nigerians entertain abuse. They do not understand what freedom is and they do not desire it as well for themselves and others who want it. Abuse is first of all entertained domestically before it transcends to the national life. That is why Nigerians will entertain a rude and abusive boss and work than to resign. They will see nothing wrong about a pastor who slapped a woman on camera. That is the reason they will entertain keeping polithiefcians who rape and loot their treasury than to clamour for change. Nigerians have a serious abusive disorder (SAD) and it has now become a national repertoire in their subconsciouness.
Aren’t they wonderful? Can you see how awesome the brilliance of these people are? We must be people of great vision.
Dear Nigerians, Abuse is not normal as rape, theft and thuggery are immoral, abnormal and criminal. Do not entertain it! You deserve a better and humane treatment and others deserve it from you also.
By Imoh “Son of David”